It's been awhile since I posted here. I guess I wasn't in a blogging mood. Or maybe I didn't really have anything to blog about. My life has pretty much been the same. I'm still trying to get over my ex, school is still school, and I'm trying to find a second job. Life gets hard when you start having to pay for your own house and utilities. You think its all dandy and then BAM here comes the rent payment. I am ready for break already and its only been a month and a half into school. I'm trying to balance everything between school and work along with trying to go out and have fun. My ex and I had a falling out and are now more towards the not wanting to speak to each other side and I am just wanting somebody to ask me out. I mean I'm not looking for anything serious but I'm definitely not looking for a booty call. I just want somebody to talk to and have some fun with. My workouts have gotten a little tougher and I am trying to lose as much weight as I can. I want to look good and I want somebody to look at me and think of me like I used to think of him. It sucks to have someone there to go to for so long and then to lose them and to have them push you away and not give a crap. I have learned one big thing in my relationship history. There is always somebody who cares more than the other person in a relationship. There is always somebody with less to lose. My first boyfriend was the one that cared too much. He was the one that wanted more from me than I was willing to give. Now with this last one I was the one giving way too much and he was the one not giving anything. I think he loved me in his own way but it was never how I needed him to love me. He never loved me enough to keep me and I want somebody that is willing to fight for me. Is that too much to ask for? I want somebody that cares when we fight and that tries to work with me to make up for whatever it was that made us fight. I don't want somebody that blames me all of the damn time and then acts like he's sorry when it comes to proving that he was the one in the wrong. We were running around in circles and I am tired of running. I want to be the one somebody chases for once. Not in the creepy I am a stalker killer rapist chase but more in the I really like you we should go out sometime chase. Maybe I'm uglier than I thought or fatter then I thought. Maybe I'm not pretty enough to have someone want to chase me. I guess we will have to just wait and see. I hope you have all had a great day and I can't wait to see you again if you happen to stop by in the future.