Hello random people out there! I woke up today and it realized it is my weekend off. Oh how nice that is to think about. I don't have to get up and go to work smiling at people that yell at and act like them berating me didn't bother me. One of my best friends is moving to Oregon. That's a big change from here. There will be trees and water and green. Just anything green. It sucks to have to drive at least an hour and a half to see water. I will miss her so much though. Strange thing is..... she's my ex's mother. I became great friends with her and I can't imagine where I would be today without her. The freakiest thing about it is we are EXACTLY alike. We both love art and drawing. We love to read and we like the same music. We have the same body types and its freaky. I am so glad I met her she has gotten me through a lot. We have both been through a lot. Its hard not to go through a lot after three years of knowing each other. She even offered for me to move with them. Oh wouldn't that be fun? Just to pick up and leave. Run away like nothing matters. But it does matter. I cant leave my mother behind. Can't leave my brother. My mom is disabled. Not like she cant get around by herself but as she gets older its gets harder for her and I cant stand the idea of her being alone. She is a strong beautiful person. She will never admit it but she's getting older and its getting harder for her. My mother has been there for everything for me and there is no way I would pick up and just leave her. I will not have her be alone for the rest of her life that is unfair to her and it would be wrong of me. I mean she is my MOTHER. You cant get much closer than that.

  Still I dream of the day when I can pick up and leave. I can't wait till I can change scenery. Meet new people make new friends. All of my friends that I had here moved on and went to start their lives somewhere else. I want to have the courage to do that. Just uproot and go to the unknown. I only have one year and a semester left of school and then I can choose any place I can get a job. Maybe I could take my mom with me. Get her a house that she would love. My goal is to work hard and give her her dream house with her bills paid. She has worked hard her whole life pushing to make ends meet and I want to be the one to hand her the keys to her house and say "It's yours". That would be the greatest feeling. I am hoping I can find a job that gives me enough money to help her out. I have dreams and aspirations too but I can wait for mine as long as my family is safe and comfortable that will be enough to satisfy me.

  On the subject of my birthday celebration it was great. Went out with a couple of friends had dinner drank a little and then went home and fell asleep. It was a good day. I am so thankful for my friends and family. I had to respond to all the posts on facebook of the people wishing me a happy bday. I went through and thanked everybody. It was a good day and I cant wait till my 21st. Then I can go out and actually drink with my friends and not have to be the babysitter anymore. Well hope everybody had a great day as well and till I type again have a great night.